痛苦

I've never ever wanted to win a match so badly.
I told myself we have to take it down and we have to be winners, at least for today. It's such an important match since it will determine if we can proceed into top 4, we cannot afford to lose. Winning is our only option.

We went on court and played our hearts out. It is undeniable that it was the best game we had played so far, since there's really nothing to lose. I told myself to go for every ball and I tried my best, I could tell that my teammates tried their best too.

But sadly we lost.

At least we fought till the end, there's nothing to regret when we look back.

Although winning is not everything, it is what we had been training for. It is our common goal, it is the reason why we're a team and the purpose why we're putting in so much effort and spending so much time training.

Although we lost, at least it left me with tonnes of precious memories that will always be kept close to my heart because we once endured everything and fought together as one. I'll never forget the fun, laughter, tears, late + long trainings and tough 3x pt we shared and overcame together. & the really really enjoyable taiwan trip that integrated me into the team and made me feel like i actually belong to it. Hcvb reignited my passion for volleyball, something that I thought i would never get back. I used to dread trainings like hell and couldn't wait for trainings to stop, but I look forward to every training in hwa chong. Hcvb really changed my life in hwa chong and I seriously regret not joining you guys earlier. :( I wonder how much fun i'd missed out in the past.

I remember when i first joined Hcvb i didn't even think of getting into the team. I wasn't motivated at all and even felt that I would prefer being a bencher rather than one of the six players on court. I must admit that I returned to volleyball because i felt that i didn't have any other talent and vball was my only choice if i were to choose a cca. After 4 years of playing libero, i told myself that if i were to play libero again, i'll rather not play. But coach gave me hope. I can still recall what he told me when i first joined, " You used to play libero? That's so wasted! I'll prove to your previous coach that you can do much more than that" I was really touched. I started training as a spiker and started to enjoy training a lot, which motivated me to want to excel. To those people who has been a spiker throughout, you won't understand how much i cherish this new role. I was never given this chance to attack, all i did in the past was to defend, defend and defend which was a goddamn boring role. Spiking makes people feel good, at least you earn a point for your team directly. I felt in love with vball again. When our setter decided not to go for the taiwan trip, he gave me this chance to take on the role of a setter which was again a whole new experience. My previous team mates would all know that setting is not something i'm particularly good at, or rather it's not something i would try. I was really nervous when i had to suddenly switch into a setter as i wasn't confident of my setting at all. I didn't understand why he had to make me the setter esp when the setter plays such an important role of controlling the game. A good set to the correct person would mean one point scored for the team, I was actually intimidated when he chose to give me this crucial position. I was so afraid that i would pull the team down in Taiwan because i had to master all the correct techniques within just 2 weeks. But he proved me wrong again. He proved to me that I could do it and with that we conquered 2 out of the 3 schools we played with in taiwan, which was quite an achievement. I learned so much from this experience, and of course, benefitted a lot from the taiwan trip. I had a change in mindset after it, I knew that I want to be part of this team, I want to represent Hwa chong.

After that we started preparing for nationals. I knew that coach was in a dilemma whether to put me as the libero or to give me another position but he ultimately decided to put me as subset. I was elated because I really really do not enjoy being the libero. But subset is a new position to me, I had to start learning again. As a subset, i get to block, spike and set, what more can i ask for? I was really contented with it. Within this short time span of a few months, I was exposed to so much more than i did throughout my 4 years as a vballer in chungcheng. For that, i must really thank coach for believing in me and giving me so many opportunities to take on different roles in the team and most importantly for giving me this chance to be part of hcvb.

Seriously I wonder how life would be like without training. I'm going to miss you guys like crazy! I'll treasure our last training tomorrow and our last match against dhs on Monday, which is also probably the last volleyball match for me.

Hcvb <3.>